How
to Develop a Healthy Relationship with Your Adolescent Son
Adolescent is the period between 13 to 19 years. It can also be considered as a transitional
period from childhood to Adulthood. It
is a period of physical and psychological
development from puberty to maturity. During this period, male children seem to be a bit difficult
to deal with as a result of which many
parents loose interest in them and ultimately loose intimate relationship with
their sons.
In this period also, they are faced with the problem of
choosing the life style to adopt and this life style usually take them through
their entire life. As a parent or a
mother, this is the period you should bring him close to you no matter how
difficult he may seem to be. You are the
one to help him make the right choice of how to be a responsible man.
To be able to achieve this, you must strive to maintain a
healthy relationship with him. Relate to him like both a parent and a friend
and in this way, he will be open to you.
You need to be able to connect properly with him so that he will not
look up to the crowd for solution of his problems.
Bringing him close to you will give him a sense of
belonging and assurance that someone cares for him. When he is going astray and remembers that
somebody close to him is being hurt by his actions, he will retrace his steps.
Many adolescent boys has turned into armed robbers, drug
addicts, dropouts, urchins, cultists etc because nobody in the first time has
called them to order or cared about what they do. The following are some of the things you need to do to
bring your adolescent son close to you:
Make out
Time for Interaction: When
you find your son being difficult and unreasonable, book an appointment with
him, let’s say to a Football Pitch. I
know he will like such place. Advice him
like a parent and talk to him like a friend.
Let him know that he will eventually be a parent, will he be happy if
his children behave the way he is doing. Tell him that his behavior is not
acceptable to you and the family and make him promise you to be a good person
from now on.
Be the
Adult: Remember that he is still a child and you are
the grown up. Make sure you have what it
takes to solve his problems. When you
give orders and he tries to disagree with you, do not engage in argument with him;
rather device a way to make him abide by your rules. It is true that he has his own rights and privileges,
do not allow your son to look down on you.
So you need to show good examples and try to do what you say. Be in charge of your house, do not be a push
over and spell out the punishment for those who flout your orders. Let him understand that you are not being
wicked but trying to make him a better person.
You will be surprised he will start loving your life style and copying
it. He will hold you in high esteem as a
disciplined parent.
Give Him
a Little Gap: Inasmuch as you make him obey your rules, he
still need some gap to make decisions for his life. Give him chance to choose his friends, his
career, hobbies and any other thing that is personal to him. You will only need to advice him on the
implications of wrong decisions and guide him accordingly. Also take interest in what he likes. When you
are satisfied with his behaviour, tell him he is doing fine and should keep it
up, reward him if you can.
Respond
to His Information Instead of Reacting: By the time he starts coming close to you, he
will open up to you to the extent of giving you information about his
friends. If he tells you that his friend
smokes secretly, do not react immediately by rebuking him of having bad
friends, because if you do he will stop telling you about himself and his friends. Instead ask him what he feels about a
teenager smoking. This will help you to
know his opinion about smoking. If he
defends his friend, you should tell him the dangers of smoking and how people
view those who smoke. If he is against
his friend’s attitude, tell him is about time he look for better friends who
will help him to achieve his aims in life.
This way, you are building a better relationship with your son and he
will love you for that.
Make the
Home Comfortable for Him: If you do not allow your son to express
himself at home, he will want to look for comfort outside. Equip your home with some games and other
luxuries of life if you can afford it.
As much as you encourage him to study his books, allow him to play
games, bring his friends home and engage himself in Church activities. This way your son will be happy and your home
will be a happy place.